Meet Jenn: My Brave New Boss

Pardon my absence from the blog, I've been super busy trying to juggle my newest adventure along with all of the regularly scheduled craziness.

I've picked up a part time job, but I use the word job in the most fun way possible because this does not feel like a job. The hours are super flexible, it's five minutes from home, and I've made a new friend! Jenn has a great sense of humor, she's motivated, super brave, and she happens to be my new boss. We run errands, I cook, she keeps me laughing, and Friday we are having a sushi and shopping date! Oh, and she happens to be in a wheelchair...and I'm her new badass personal assistant.

I had been tossing around the idea of going back to work for months, but the idea of leaving the kids or having to put them in daycare made my skin crawl. Then it hit me: why not try to find a family or someone in the special needs community who needs some extra help? The husband's new schedule made it feasible to be gone a few hours in the morning, and as long as I was home by early afternoon, he would have enough time to sleep and head to work, meaning the kids would be with one of us, eliminating the need for day care!

I've been working with Jenn for a few weeks now, and we've fallen into a good routine. I go over to Jenn's house in the mornings, stay for a few hours, and head home in time for the hubby to catch some z's. Jenn has Fredreich's Ataxia, a disease that causes progressive damage to the nervous system, making everyday activities more challenging for her. I help her with anything she needs help with, but mostly it just feels like I'm hanging out with a friend I've known for years. She recently finished a temporary job, and has been applying for jobs and waiting on opportunities to present themselves. Last week she received an email inviting her to interview for a position with a Chicago based marketing and promotions company. When she asked my advice on whether or not she should attend the interview, I told her, "what's the worst that could happen?" Little did I know...

I showed up at Jenn's last Thursday ready to get her to the interview on time. I think she was a little nervous, but as usual, she was cool as a cucumber. We headed down the road, chit chatting and making plans for lunch that day, expecting the interview to go like any other interview: questions, answers, a handshake, and then waiting for a phone call with an offer. We made it to the business, got got Jenn settled into her wheelchair and headed for the front door of the office building. We weren't inside for a millisecond before my heart fell to the floor with an audible thud. Stairs. I began silently pleading for the office we needed to be on the first floor, but with no signs of anyone around, I knocked on the door of an architectural firm to ask where we could find the offices for the company Jenn was interviewing with (not naming the company for reasons I will explain at a later date). The kind gentleman told me they were located on the second floor, and when I asked about an elevator in the building, he glanced behind me at Jenn and quickly apologized for the lack of
elevator. I thanked him, and filled Jenn in on the situation.

I could tell she was embarrassed, but I wasn't going to let her know that I knew. I came up with a plan to go up to the offices in the hopes that someone would be understanding, accepting, and empathetic to Jenn's situation and conduct the interview on the first floor. "I'll be right back!" I said and cheery and carefree as I could muster, darting up to the second floor with an uneasy feeling in my stomach. I could feel the mama bear instinct prickling the hairs on the back of my neck, something was telling me things were about to get worse.

I knocked on the office door and walked into a waiting area, with magazines scattered on a coffee table. I overheard someone on the phone having a less than professional conversation, unless the term "dude" has become professional and I missed the memo. The man ended the phone call and headed for the door with his hand outstretched, introducing himself to me, clearly assuming I was the person he was supposed to be interviewing. I introduced myself, explaining that Jenn was the candidate who applied for the job, but that she was downstairs waiting because she was unable to get upstairs due to being in a wheelchair. "Well that puts me in an awkward situation. What am I supposed to do?" I saw red. My jaw tensed, and I'm pretty sure my hands balled into fists. He stood there in front of me, waiting for me to say something, probably hoping I would throw my hands up and say, "oh no big deal, don't worry about it!" WRONG. Mama bear was in full effect, and as calmly as I could manage, I simply said, "Why don't you go down and speak with her." He looked at me as if the thought never crossed his mind to actually go down and speak to Jenn, like this was an unimaginable thing for me to request. Red. Bright red.

I followed him down the stairs as he introduced himself to Jenn and then stood there looking down at her in silence. He looked to me, as if wanting me to facilitate the conversation. It was clear to me he had no intention of conducting an actual interview. He asked Jenn what kind of position she was interested in, something he should have known given the fact that she applied for a job with his company, a job that was posted to a job search website. She explained what she was looking for, and he went into a short explanation about the job, highlighting the fact that the team met on the second floor of the office, then travelled to the retail locations for the day. Jenn even asked if there were any office positions, clerical work, or work from home opportunities, and was simply told, no. "Okay, thank you." Jenn, even gracious in a moment when I would have lost my mind and my cool on the guy, verbally obliterating him until he felt like a squashed bug on the floor. I grabbed the back of Jenn's wheelchair and headed for the door as quickly as her wheels and my feet could take us. The only thought in my head? GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!

I was fuming. I wanted to go back and give the guy a piece of my mind, and a high five to the face with a steel chair. Or maybe introduce him to my bumper? I'm kidding of course, but the thought definitely crossed my mind. Jenn cracked jokes, but I could tell she was upset. The reality was, she would have been miserable in the position, and who wants to work for a douchebag? The whole car ride home was painfully silent and awkward, so I did the only thing I knew how to do. I found the nearest Starbucks, and bought us both a deliciously expensive cup of coffee (it was too early for margaritas, trust me...we considered that too).

I got home from Jenn's that day and sat down on the couch with Addy. The longer I thought about what transpired, the angrier I got. Discrimination because of a disability? This is still happening? I've seen stories on Fox News, or in the Huffington Post, or circulating on social media, but I've never stood and watched it unfold right in front of me. It was heartbreaking, infuriating, and eye opening. I thought of Addy, I thought of all the Lucky Fin kids we've met over the past year, some with other medical issues that have put them into the hospital. Would Addy be told one day that she couldn't do something because of her limb difference? Would she know that she is capable of doing anything she set her mind to? Of course she will, because we will raise her to be a strong independent young woman. I hope that she would have the strength and determination that Jenn has, and wouldn't let some asshole in cheap loafers make her think any less of herself. I hope she acts as graceful and composed as Jenn did, and not fly off the handle and verbally accost the man like I wanted to so badly.

When I first started working with Jenn she told me about an organization she supports called 3e Love, who's goal is to change the perception of disability. The company was started by siblings Annie and Stevie Hopkins in 2007 as a social experiment to promote their unique symbol and social model of disability. The company now has a trademarked International Symbol of Acceptance (wheelchair heart logo), I know this because Jenn owns every piece of clothing humanly possible with the symbol on it! You can learn more about the company and all the wonderful things happening with 3e Love on their website, I'll be ordering my t-shirt soon! Organizations like 3e Love, The Lucky Fin Project, Born Just Right and so many more aim to educate the public, embrace diversity, and allow communities of people to form in support of one another. Disability discrimination is something that should be and needs to be erased from society. We are all people, capable of more than we give each other and ourselves credit for. Being different is simply that; being different. Our differences make us who we are, and set us apart from every other human being in the world. Shouldn't we celebrate each other's differences instead of using those differences as a basis to discriminate? I will continue to be an advocate for not only my daughter and Jenn, but for the special needs community as a whole. These are people with so much to give to the world, so much talent, so much hard work and determination, so many stories of love and loss. They should be held in high regard, not looked down upon as a lesser community.

And to the uneducated, misinformed, small minded man at the marketing company...karma. While this may not have been but a blip on your radar, this experience has lit a fire under me and many others. You will have your day, sir...I promise.

Jenn loving life! But maybe not as much as she loves that drink...

Special thanks to Jenn for not only allowing me into her life, but for allowing me to post this story about her braveness in the face of discrimination! You're an amazing lady, I'm lucky to have you as a new friend and boss!