The Glue...But What's Next?

I was never good at the school thing, I struggled with my grades through high school, keeping my grades just above eligible to be able to play softball. When I was accepted to my dream college I was elated, but I was freaking out. What in the hell was I going to major in and do with my life? Nothing really stuck out. I knew I had to choose a major where math and science were at a minimum, and writing was at a maximum. Communications seemed to be a good fit for me, so I followed in my mother's footsteps and graduated with a degree in Organizational Communications.

I was lucky enough to be one of the few to accept a job before I had even received my diploma. I packed up what little worldly possessions I had, loaded up a U-haul, and with my father's help, drove the 1000 miles and countless hours and potty breaks from Athens, Ohio to Longview, Texas for my first big girl job. It was hard, not the job, but being in Texas. Nolan had found out a mere month after we started dating that he would be deploying. In true military fashion, we were engaged within months of knowing each other. I spent my days in Texas working 90 hour weeks at a job I hated, knowing I had made a huge mistake in accepting. I spent what little free time I had Skyping with the love of my life who was in a war zone halfway around the world. 

Nolan came to Texas for his R&R in September, and we spent every waking moment with each other. There were some little white lies told to my boss in order to take time off, time I hadn't accrued yet, but you do what you can for love, right? We talked about our hopes, our dreams, and our life together in the future. We planned where we would live, what our dream house looked like. We talked about how we would raise our imaginary children, and how our weekends would be spent at baseball field in the summer, and on the bleachers in the fall. "I want a mini Nolan...an exact replica of you!" I said, hoping I would have a boy first, and a girl second. On a Friday afternoon, after having all of our wedding planning dreams dashed by each side of the family, we ran to the Greg County courthouse and were married at 2 o'clock in the afternoon. 

Our honeymoon was spent at an airport saying heartfelt and tearful goodbyes. Onlookers held their hands over their hearts with sympathy across their faces as they watched us snuggle in airport seats at the terminal. We made the most of what little time we had left, trying to console each other, telling each other that the months would fly by and we would be together again starting our lives before we knew it. 

The months did fly by, and he came home to me safe and sound. We spent several getting to know each other again, I think we were both so excited about his return that it came out as nervous energy. I had spent months planning for his return, I had all the ingredients to make his favorite dinners, I had raided the local Victoria's Secret, and had even laid in enough booze that we never needed to leave the apartment. Once we were back to being us, there was talk of starting a family, and before we knew it, I had my head in the toilet every time I smelled food. Nine glorious months, our son, Keegan was born. 

From that moment on, my life has been solely dedicated to my family in every aspect of the word dedicated. I am the cook, the cleaning lady, the chauffeur. I am the nurse when they are up sick with a fever, and the exterminator when a spider is spotted. I wipe noses and butts, play Batman and dinosaurs. I am the glue in our family, I keep the watchamacallit moving. I am a homemaker, and I love my job, and I truly believe that this is what I was meant to do. With the addition of Addy into our lives, it's only made the job crazier and more rewarding.

There has been talk of adding another munchkin to the craziness, but after Addy's less than zen entrance into the world and a bet I have with my mother, I think our family might be complete. I am both okay with that, and heartbroken. I complained my way through two very different pregnancies, but overall, I love being pregnant. I love the idea of growing a human, a tiny sea monkey that totally controls your body for nine long, heartburn ridden months. I love the moment you meet your baby for the first time, the moment they imprint themselves on your soul. The moment your world is shaken tot he core, your heart grows bigger than you ever thought possible, and you welcome your little one into the world. It's hard to believe that I will never have that experience again, which is why I hold my own birth story moments so close to my heart, running through every detail in my mind over and over as to not forget a single moment. I want to be able to look back on their births with them someday, telling them of the emotional moments they came into my world and changed it forever.

So while I am heartbroken, I am happy. I have two beautiful kids that fill my life with just as much love as frustration. They are healthy, they are happy. They are crazy, they are ornery, but they are mine. They are the best thing I have ever done with my life, and I couldn't be prouder.

With Keegan getting older and closer to entering into school, and Addy growing up faster than I ever imagined possible, I'm beginning to wonder what the next phase of my life holds. Obviously, I will continue my everyday duties of mommy hood. The butt wiping and bug squashing will continue for a few more years before they ignore me completely and demand I drop them off around the corner as to not embarrass them in front of their friends. So what's next for me?

I've been tossing around the idea of opening up a shop on Etsy, the problem...I haven't a clue how to start my own business. With all of the crafty things I've been making for friends and family and how much I enjoy not only the process but the reaction my creations receive, I know I would love it. The issue? Finding both the space and time to research how to begin, and create enough of a stock to actually open the shop! I recently finished a quilt for my best friend's daughter, and it was one of my favorites I've ever made! I'm working on a friend's wedding flowers, made completely from fabric and ribbon, and while tedious, they are turning out beautiful and insanely unique! I'm not sure which direction I would go with the shop, but the whole idea is intriguing! I would be able to continue to pursue my passion of creating things, while helping to provide for my family with flexible hours and being able to still be the mommy I am to my crazy babies.

I guess I need to get my butt in gear and start researching what to do...

My work space...also known as my dining room

Quilt for my best friend's daughter and her new big girl tree house bed

Soaking up the Virginia sunshine on our road trip